Word Number 6 Vemödalen

Part 1: Between Living and Dreaming

Seeing the World as it is, and as it could be

Definition

The fear that originality is no longer possible

Swedish vemod, tender sadness, pensive melancholy + Vemdalen, the name of a Swedish town, which is the kind of thing that IKEA usually borrows to give names to their products.

Pronounced “vey-moh-dah-len.”

"The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” by John Koenig

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For this word I interviewed a childhood friend who lived down the street for the first 15 years of my life increasing to a mile when I moved until college. He is 5 months older and speaks my legal name with two syllables instead of three, Al-ya, instead of Ah-lee-ah. After high school he went into to the Navy and me to Arizona. We wrote letters, his from an aircraft carrier and mine from a desk at Phoenix Sky Harbor airport. He didn’t take the frilly bits of ripped paper off after tearing it from a notebook. I saved every letter and cutout every postmark from the ship, taping them to the inside of my journal for safe keeping. His letters always came unexpectedly, right when the contents of my own letter began to slip away, a reply would come flooding out of my mailbox and the world would stand still as I read.

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" ‘Game on brother’ my buddy whispered in my ear and there was no backing out now."

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Jake had a week of shore leave from the ship, he and a few friends planned a long motorcycle trip to take them around Northern Washington then on a ferry to the San Juan Islands. After spending a day on the island, they would take the ferry up to Canada where an Air B & B and a shower were waiting. “We actually ended up leaving a day early” Jake said, “I was packing the camping gear and it put me in a really good mood, so I called my buddy and asked, “Do you want to leave right now?” They were on the road within the hour.

“The first part of the trip was great, we camped and hiked in some really cool spots making our way up to the ferry but not realizing until we got there that the ferry from Seattle to Vancouver leaves once a day, at 9 AM.” This ferry pauses at Orcas Island, leaving for Vancouver at 9:30 sharp. “We rode onto the first ferry at 9:30 meaning we had already missed the ride to Canada. Pulling out our phones we searched for a campground finding everything completely booked. Luckily, there was another motorcycle rider on the ferry, a local who described a site on the back side of the island that usually had spots due to its less than ideal tourist location.”

With no other plan, and no ferry to catch until the following day they rode immediately to the hidden site. “Any chance you have a spot for tonight?” Jake asked the host upon arrival. “You’re in luck, someone called and cancelled minutes ago”, said the camp host, “it’s yours if you want it.” Grinning, Jake glanced at his buddy who nodded back. “To get here has all been dumb luck, from missing the first ferry to meeting the local, how cool is this?" Jake said turning to leave. “I just want to let you know” the host adds, “a lot of people come to this camp for the spa, it’s clothing optional, so, you guys might see something you like.” “Okay thanks...” Jake says, sharing a questioning glace with his buddy.

“I’m not sure what clothing optional means, I’ve never been somewhere with clothing optional, but we have to check it out” This led to an agreement. “If we walk in there and find a bunch of people naked there’s no chickening out.”

The spa was outside, nestled against the hill in the dense trees of the island. The back 180 degrees were fenced in but the other half overlooked the ocean, and not a single person was wearing clothes. “'Game on brother’ my buddy whispered in my ear.”

“I was scared and a little uncomfortable but felt a strange sense of community with the people around me,” said Jake, “with no clothing, there was a need to start conversation to break the tension.” As a result, he ended up making friends with a lot of them. One even told a story about a motorcycle rider they had passed earlier that day who waved and honked the goofiest horn they had ever heard, “small world” Jake said, “that had to have been me.”

“Everyone I’ve told this story to says they wouldn’t have done it, especially not with their dude friend. I was definitely nervous going in nude but when I got myself in there and started talking, they were all friendly and it wasn’t uncomfortable or weird as I had anticipated.”

Later, Jake reflected further, the entire trip still would have been great even without an unplanned trip to a nude spa but the unexpectedness of getting there was part of what made the experience original and ended up changing his outlook on places like this. “It’s becoming harder to have these unique experiences, certain spots that used to be hidden gems, get posted on social media and end up becoming really popular. At same time people are getting lazier, they don’t want to put in the effort to get there, so some spots become more original while others loose it completely.”

“I remember getting to high school, where a group of people saw me for the first time and said, ‘Oh you’re Abe’s brother.’ They didn’t bother to learn my name and it drove me crazy, as if I wasn’t my own person doing my own thing. I’m not just Abe’s brother. Realizing I wanted to do something different than my dad and brother led me to join the Navy where I became a nuclear technician. The military may look similar on on the outside, but it’s not true. The point of the uniforms, regulations, and haircuts is to appear as one, but individually the military is a very diverse community.”

“I see originality as an experience belonging exclusively to an elite or niche group” said Jake “Typically, things that are difficult or not well known provide a more original experience. For me, originality is essential, I like the feeling of being different, not blending in. Now, studying mechanical engineering, most of my homework is a puzzle I must figure out, this is my favorite part.”

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To Jake: Thank you for your story and being my first interviewee. Some part of me will always look at you with the innocence of a 3rd grader who wanted to sit next to you on the bus. As the one who would spend at least 10 minutes panicking about knocking on your front door to see if you wanted to hang out, but in the end making my brother do it. Do you remember when we had to learn the waltz for the choir play in 5th grade? Somehow you got paired with me and my heart just about beat out of my chest, I don’t think you were nearly as excited about it as I was, but could you tell? In my eyes you are a firefly, a face I can always find in a crowd, the smell of dirt and wildflowers, of tree sap, those berries that would cover the ground in front of your house and really hurt to get hit with. I can always count on you, when I don’t know what comes next or how to find a new path forward there is your next letter.

You are brave, inspiring, courageous, interesting.

A first edition shiny Charizard Pokémon card.

A soul who will keep wondering, learning, and moving forward.

Originality at its finest.

Yours,

Maxie

Next

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References

Koenig, John. The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. Simon & Schuster. Kindle Edition.